We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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