Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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