Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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