I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
