handjob tips. give me some.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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