the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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