okay pat passed out under dana's car
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
