So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
