I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
