dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
