I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
