I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
