This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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