I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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