Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
