Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
