You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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