You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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