I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You are a booty call, not a friend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
