just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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