I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
