giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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