So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
