I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
