rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
