Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
