I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
