If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize