Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
