problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
