At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im holly from the hills drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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