Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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