escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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