Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
