OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
