just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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