their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
