In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
