why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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