I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize