BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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