I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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