I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
