matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Alive.
So much puke
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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