I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
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I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
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I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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