I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
