dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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