how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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