we made out on top of his cat.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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