Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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