Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
