I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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