I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
