The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
