who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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