i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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