Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
