And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.