I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.