I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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