Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.