she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
