this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
