I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
