yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
