also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize