I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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