I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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