i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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