Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
not ubering you a puppy
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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