I cannot find my penis.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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