yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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