what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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